Year One: The Cause Of It All
You wasn’t proud of me
I know I wasn’t raised right
At night I used to cry
because I wanted more wisdom
My body was my prison
I was having strong visions but I didn’t get it
All this ambition with no way to make it happen
No skills, I couldn’t communicate
You said you let me down
Asked if I was plotting to kill you
I frowned,
I don’t know how it got this way
But I’m glad it came this way
No friends and no family
Only silence and the stars at night
To vibe with my cries
Wrapped me in your arms so tight and
Said you’ll never let me down
Year Two: I Talked With God
I talked with God at my lowest
When things moved slower
And the world got colder
I was tempted to
Stop striving for perfection
And stop being chosen
My happiness subsided
because somebody stole it
before I could kill myself
his words became golden
I seen angels moving boulders
breaking their wearied shoulders
Showed me scriptures are
militaries dedicated and focused
He closed that door to heavenly forces after
He perceived my eyes had been opened
Since that day, though many days be morbid
I never lose faith showing my spirit to be hopeless
Year Three: A Grateful Bleeding Heart
You put my pain in perspective
And that’s a blessing
You give my enemies advantage,
to show your presence
I pray for faith,
you give me tears to swallow
If I can’t be humble,
I won’t see tomorrow
Your story is the source of my victory
Your hand crushes humanity
giving my spirit some liberty
As I walk in Christianity
requesting all synergy
I learn from my pain
to see how love truly leads
Year Four: Eyes On The Throne
Tonight, tears water my soul
I walk beneath people,
top of my head under their soles
I feel the complaints,
I pray to God
I can hold them in
Tossing and turning It’s hard to sleep
Ambitions are churning me
Thinking about angels and
the plans they will bring to fruit
The stars praising my pursuit for a life a truth
I do what others won’t cause
I believe this life is nothing
Running me over and pushing my buttons
I let go of my lovers
Now my discussions are lonely
Seen my homies fold under pressure,
but we started together
Makes me feel like my efforts are helpless
because they were the better
Better in strength,
and had more lovers and friends
But still here I am, with my eyes the goal
Tears water my soul
The stars watch as I grow
Just a kid in a home with his family gone
a kid on his own
With his eyes on the throne